I have let go of my old way of thinking. I have let go of my old way off being. I have let go of my old way of believing. I have let go of my old way of doing. I am ready for the next level of embodiment of myself. I will not and I do not do anything that does not truly align with myself. I have burned my old self to ashes. God has put me in a position to thrive. I can not waste this opportunity. I will shine in my authenticity and radiate God’s love from within.
I live in my own world. I am independent and I think differently. I am genuine and what you see is what you get. I don’t pretend anything. I don’t care what opinions others have of me. That’s of no concern to me. I live by my own rules with God. I do not need to ask permission from anyone and rarely ask others for support. I will follow my own path through to the very end. I have no fear of being on my own. I really like my independence and I don’t blindly follow rules. I am an independent thinker and do not feel the need to fit in with anything or anybody. I fit in everywhere with every person. I stay quiet and do not share my opinions or myself with others. I am confident in myself and need no one to validate my confidence or belief in myself.
I have strong leadership skills but do not need to be the center of attention in the room. I am compassionate and loyal. I am not cruel. I am as brave as an Alpha male but have the calmness of a Beta male. I am observant of all that is happening around me. I am a deep thinker and spend a lot of time in my head. I am not shy, but I do like to spend a lot of time alone. I live in my own bubble. I speak when I have something to say and disengage from any sort of gossip or negative talk. I do not conform to useless rules nor do I follow them simply because everyone else does. No one tells me what to do or has influence over me, but God. I do my own thing. I have never changed from who I am nor will I ever change from who I am. I am who I am supposed to be and deserve the respect that I would give to others. I am loyal to those who are loyal to me. I am extremely loyal and selective in my relationships with others. Cheating is not an option for me. My partner must meet my high standards. Those that are disloyal are removed from my life. I do not need a following to stroke my ego or to feel better about myself. I do not need nor do I seek praise from others. I do not need admiration for validation of myself. I am my own validation. My actions validate myself. I am not an attention seeker and success is not my ultimate goal. I live a genuine, authentic and hopefully, happy life. My self worth will not diminish. I would rather be alone than have one fake friend. I do not waste my time with anyone who does not deserve it and I am not afraid to shut someone out of my life if they are not deserving of my love. I deserve the respect that I give to others. I only surround myself with people that I fully trust.
I value quality over quantity. I do not let my pride and ego get in the way of me being genuine. I want to lead and support those who are in my life to success and happiness and calmness. I am good at handling tricky situations and do not make rash decisions that could jeopardize myself or my future. I do not try to impress others to win admiration but rather focus on myself to be more productive. The only thing that matters is how I think about myself and how goes sees me in his eyes. I am self reliant and independent. I am the most independent person around. I do not involve others in my personal matters. I struggle on my own and will find a solution on my own. I will accept help from others when it is offered but do not seek it out. I figure out things on my own and use my head to solve all problems that come my way. God made a man to fend for himself and provide for himself and to build a future for himself and ultimately, his family. Blessed is the one who perseveres through trial.
I know I am starting to look good because I catch women eye balling me everywhere I go. Some don’t even try to hide it. Even if they’re subtle by migrating around me, I catch their glances anyway. I know all of their tactics and spot them because I am aware to see them.
So I remember my family properly in this blog, I wanted to post this picture of Elliott when he was nine months old with his great-grand mother Virginia Silva, Angela’s, Mother’s, Mother. She was dying of stage 4 ovarian cancer when this picture was taken. He only had two teeth. Elliott was her “favorite baby”, she said “of all of her babies.” She dies not to long later after this picture was taken. We named Daisy, Daisy Virginia, in honor of her. She was born 4 months later.
I figured out what is wrong with me, with my fearful avoidant behaviors and all, by watching videos by Dr. Sarah Hensley, an avoidant herself. She’s the best at understanding childhood trauma and how it affects your personality traits and behaviors as an adult. Trust your intuition, not your wondering and chaotic mind. Look her up. No one deserves to know what love truly feels like more than you. There are no coincidences.
Click Here to visit her Facebook page.
When Angela died, everything that I had been avoiding and suppressing my entire life came crashing down and on me and came boiling up to the surface all at once. I thought I was prepared to loose my wife but I had a full blown collapse the moment she died in front of my eyes. It was crippling and devastating and I am still trying to recover from it. And, how to figure out how to properly understand the grieving process while I cry myself through it.
The devil’s path has the modern woman worshiping the black sun. The modern woman is the 21st century Asherah. She’s no goddess though. She could create beautiful things though.
Who holds her heart? She is torn between worlds. She has been shown good and she has been shown bad. She has been shown right and she has been shown wrong.
Will she find her spirit within her heart? Does she see what she has been shown? Does she even care?
“Go that way!” her black eyes say. “Follow me!”
And, everybody does. Everyone goes left. “I’ll follow her anywhere!” “Love the 7 headed dragon, brah!” is heard as they scurry along her path of the unfortunate that she has planned and worn thin for them. They follow her with glee and anticipation! She is a god to them. You follow her blindly.
Asherah’s way is free and easy! And, fun in spirts!
In the real world: her way is broken, her way is barren, and her way is isolated in the desert, parched of the life sustaining waters. There’s only one end in sight on Desolate Rd and it’s your pile of bones in her boneyard she has dug for you in the dust winds that she blows.
She is not me though. I chose right. I chose me. I chose a Higher self for a Higher Good.
I chose the True World to serve a Higher Purpose for the Highest Heaven. The Highest of High. The Most High. In God I honor. It is in He that I worship.
On the right hand path, she was once a dove. But, she could not follow because she couldn’t figure it out.
So, she went left with the crow, lead in the trickery of misguidance. Where there is always harm and a lot of fouls.
She longed to fly away.
She raises her sword up to the expanse of the firmament for the True God of Heaven?
She dance many dances…She is a woman in chains, bound in darkness, she trades her soul as skin and bone.
But you, who follows her by the left hand; you cruise through life, and you forget to see which way you are headed, which way you are going, Asherah doesn’t care if you know anything. It’s better for you not to know anyway.
Every step, you think you are going up, but her stairs only lead you down into manic waters. Her path is of the fallen.
You go round and round in the cycle of life. Yin’n and Yang’n. Never really getting anywhere. Always spinning in circles though. Does she not notice a thing? Maybe she notices everything. No matter. Her ending is just the same for you.
You run and run everyday, Yet, year after year, did you really get anywhere?
You walk and walk the slow paced race to the bottom of oblivion. Does she just keep you twisted to stay small and obtuse? It is the easiest after all and there is much comfort in that which is easy. She is always easy and willing to take you in. For a price, of course.
As time goes on, you realize it just gets more confusing in the dark and dank tunnel of the path of life you have taken.
you never see what is truly in front of you…
When you’re running up that hill. Do you want to hear about the deal that she is making?
It is black and there is no light, at the end of her tunnel.
And, then the storm comes and wipes you out for good!
Annihilation is complete of your brief existence of life. It’s over and done with never to have a thought again.
Back to dust you go. Asherah had her way with you and spit you out like cud into her voided black hole of nothingness.
In the middle of my sadness and sorrows I set my heart on the Divine. My path has victory over death. My path has victory over evil. My path has victory over my self. My path has victory over terrestrial things.
I walk with confidence of my protector from above.
I follow the stairway that Jacob dreamed of that leads up to his promised land. I will continue to grow and ascend closer to God above, as I journey closer to my family’s homeland, for all of my days that I have breath left in me.
I walk my path where the spirit realm and the earthly realm merge to protect me and guide me along my way.
I was put on this earth to discover something big in my heart. The biggest of big. I have God in my heart. This is what makes me Divine. I was put on this earth to choose different. To be different. To stand up for what I believe. To stand up for Heaven’s sake. To walk the right hand path...
To be Good in honor of my Father in Heaven.
I can’t see anything wrong with what is right.
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